i just wanna soil my oats bro
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
