it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
