He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
