You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
