ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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