I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
