Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
