Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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