I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
