There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
