I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
