I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
3pm strippers are depressing
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
so much tequila, so little girl.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
