That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
