New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..