the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.