I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
