At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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