a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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