It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
