She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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