wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
