i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
