Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
