Don't you send me to vm
fuck your aforementioned shoe
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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