Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
