how can u be prego again
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
