Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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