ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
