everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
