I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
