I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
