I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
