Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
