That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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