dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
someone owes me an orgasm
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize