Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
