Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
