This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
