We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
is wine microwaveable?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
