She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
