i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
