You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize