I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
