I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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