I am puke
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
