It's like God shit irony all over that family
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
