Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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