wanna go halves on a baby?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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