Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
