so explain again why im purple
no
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
