Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
