just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize