Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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