I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
