There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
