ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
