ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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