Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
