When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
