I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
