Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
