I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The air was thick with penises
I just got carded by a ten year old.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
