Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize