Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
