So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
