Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
