she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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