Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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